Friday, June 15, 2018

Practicing Acceptance 


Happy Friday!!  My week is finally turning the corner and I'm getting back on track with my regular workouts and life in general.  I had a ton of fun battling a nasty upper respiratory infection that basically had me looking like this for over ten days...


I keep seeing this scenario play out over and over again on social media, blogs, and it even bleeds in to personal conversations.  Here is the gist of it, if you support acceptance of everyone, you must practice acceptance of everyone.  This doesn’t mean you agree, or would actively pursue whatever action someone takes, it just means you respect their decision to make those choices for themselves. Lately there has been this tendency to throw some serious shade at women that have different interests, body types or outlook than the speaker does.  

Let me explain.

The latest example is an acquaintance recently had some very strong feelings and reactions to Kim Kardashian posting pictures of her breasts heavily taped up to give them best form for photos.   There was a very strong negative reaction to this, as it was thought to promote a poor body image to women and girls.  And that by taping up and changing what was completely natural Kim K was promoting something that wasn’t a “true” or “real” body.  And that she should be ok with showing her “Mom Bod” the way it really appears, sans tape or any other artifice. 

Except that it isn’t what Kim K wants to do.  Full stop, end of sentence. Now I’m saying this based on her actions not any in depth conversations with her.   Taping up breasts is nothing new, any woman with large breasts, or breasts and fashion, knows about this trick.  And yes, she used a large amount of tape but come on girls, nothing that large is that perky naturally (at least not for long).  And isn’t it more to the point that Kim was being perfectly open about what it took to create that look?  Growing up these discussions never publicly happened.  There was a time and place that all health and beauty rituals happened deep behind closed doors.  Both in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and in Frankie and Grace the main characters wake up before the men in their bed to “fix” their faces before their respective men can see what the woman they had slept with looked like first thing in the morning, sans makeup or any beauty products.   So to have someone bring transparency on what it takes to create those flawless selfies is a very big step in the right direction in my honest opinion.  Whether or not I want to do it to my body is, frankly irrelevant.

I also watched a well-known social media influencer whose sole platform is to promote women in sport of all shapes and sizes make dismissing and demeaning comments about a woman who was walking down the street during New York’s fashion week.  It was posted to her stories on Instagram.  And maybe her comment wasn’t meant to be negative or maybe she was having a bad day, but it sure came off that way and if you are demanding acceptance and accountability when people judge you, shouldn’t you promote the same even if you don’t have the same interests? It really put me off her, and some associations that she has have made similar remarks regarding women in heels and dresses.  I no longer follow her accounts.  To be clear, I don’t think she is bad person.  I think she falls in the
trap of letting her insecurity speak for her and that takes a lot of work to become aware and turn that voice on low.

I’m not here to defend Kim Kardashian or to shame the woman on Instagram.   My point really lies in
the fact if you promote inclusiveness, and acceptance of all women, you mean ALL women.  Whatever you choose to do be ok with it, and accept others for what they choose to do and promote that stance.  If a women wears a face full of make up to a workout, good for her!  If someone shows up in a sweaty ponytail and no makeup, good for her!   Don’t assume because someone is wearing high heels and skirt that she is a slave to some sort of male driven fantasy or way of thinking.   Equally don’t assume a woman in athletic ware doesn’t care how she presents herself to the world. Or
anywhere in between, and of course I have some pretty strong feelings about certain looks.  But then I don’t wear those looks, I don’t admonish other women for making that choice. 

  
Take care of yourself and let others be who they want to be.   It’s amazing how many of the slights
perceived, real or otherwise, can be let go of when you practice this concept.  

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Practicing Acceptance 

Happy Friday!!  My week is finally turning the corner and I'm getting back on track with my regular workouts and life in general....